take nine
Two weeks ago today, I and 20,000 of my closest friends spent hours watching segments of “The Nines,” 9+ hours—beginning at 9:09 am on 09/09/09—of videos from some of the evangelical world’s most influential voices. Each “speaker” had just nine minutes to answer the question, “If you could say one thing to Christian leaders, what would it be?”
Of course, some went over nine minutes, and there was a lot of alliteration and three-part outlines. But my favorite was this simple but powerful one by Skye Jethani, the managing editor of Leadership Journal. If someone asked me the question, I’d probably just reply, “What Skye said.” He has three points, but they’re good ones—and only eight minutes, too!
OOMFITYSK–#4
David and Nancy Guthrie are two more Friends I Think You Should Know. In 1998 the Guthries welcomed a new baby, Hope, who was born with the very rare Zellweger Syndrome and lived only seven months. Despite taking medical steps to prevent future pregnancies, the couple again beat the odds and conceived Gabriel who was born in 2001—again, with Zellwegers. He lived six months.
It would be easy to ask why, to question God, and to lose faith in His goodness, and the Guthries have certainly done their share of wrestling. But eight years later they’ve transformed this pain into resources that help others, including the books Holding on to Hope: A pathway through suffering to the heart of God and Hearing Jesus Speak into Your Sorrow.
This past weekend David and Nancy added another tool for grieving parents with their first Respite retreat. Parents from around the country who have lost a child gathered at a retreat center north of Nashville for several days of remembering, sharing, praying, and connecting with others who understand their pain. Many of the attendees wrote the Guthries this week admitting their initial reluctance to participate in the experience and the huge blessing they ended up receiving. “Being in a room with trees as tall as the sky all around us and voices being lifted up to our Lord in worship brought great healing and peace,” said one. “The Lord met us in that place as we shared our painful stories. We could lift our sorrows, our questions, and our hopes to the Father who continues to carry us in these days.”
David and Nancy have been “movers and shakers” in the publishing and music industries, but that’s not why I’m glad to know them or why I want you to. They’re Friends I Think You Should Know because they know God in deep ways and have struggled with questions most of us would rather avoid.
They have four spots open for their next Respite retreat; if you or someone you know is dealing with the loss of a child you can find out more here. And don’t miss the really excellent Time magazine article about their journey that was published July 16, 2001—the day their second child with Zellwegers entered the world.
group thinking
As thrilling as my Labor Day activities are (a long nap on the couch and vacuuming up wallpaper scraps from a weekend extravaganza of DIY), I keep thinking about a Facebook conversation last week. On Friday, I realized it had been several years since I’d participated in a small group and I didn’t miss it at all. I posted this thought on Facebook and Twitter to see if others agreed or if I was a spiritual leper, and got a mixture of responses.
One insightfully pointed out that introverts like me don’t feel the need for this kind of enforced togetherness as much as more extroverted temperaments do, but it’s still important.
Another agreed that if you have a healthy support system of friends and read the Bible on your own, a group’s not necessary.
Others said perhaps we should focus on what we bring to a group rather than what we get from it; one lamented this perspective as the churchy argument of small group gurus, another kindly defended it.
I’ve written about this issue before; when I joined a group in California a few years ago it struck me I already had a small group of close friends to “do life with” and wasn’t likely to build similar relationships with a gaggle of acquaintances over discussions of John Ortberg books and lukewarm soda.
I still feel that way, but last week’s FB conversation showed I am not just pragmatic, I’m selfish—because I don’t want to give up 2-4 hours a week to “be a blessing” in a group I get nothing from. I’m not interested in praying for your son’s friend’s mother’s job, or hearing you tell a group member every week that they need to “just trust God,” or listening as someone pontificates her opinions about the assigned chapter she didn’t read.
“The bottom line for me is that, as Christians, we are all part of the body of Christ,” wrote the small groups supporter on Facebook. “No matter how flawed we may be, we need to stick together and find some way to be connected with other Christians…it doesn’t have to be the same for everyone…it might be a small group, a Sunday school class, a service group, the list goes on…but we shouldn’t be out there all by ourselves, even if we think we are fine.”
I can’t argue with that, but I also refuse to spend another night of my life forcing artificial community with strangers. I think the solution is LTGs.
Neil Cole, author of Organic Church, Search and Rescue and Organic Leadership, has built a church planting movement around these Life Transformation Groups. Each group has just two or three members of the same gender, and each member reads lots of scripture (around 30 chapters each week), confesses his sins to the others, and prays with them for others who need Christ.
Like so many other things, this idea’s simplicity is its effectiveness. A focus on Scripture—not study guides or “Christian living” books—can challenge anyone from day-old believers to lifetime Christians. Very small groups force authenticity and provide accountability. Confession and prayer cut through Christian cliche and forge the “bonding” small group pastors long for.
It’s a back to basics approach that allows people of every spiritual maturity level to grow deeper, and to do it in community. It’s also the only type of group I’ll consider participating in. Now that I’ve alienated every publisher of small group material, I’ll go back to my Labor Day.
shop, in the name of love
Some problems are so overwhelmingly big. How can I, just one small person, address the physical, spiritual, and educational needs in Africa? How can I preserve what’s left of the beautiful world God created? How can I get all reality TV off the air?
Human trafficking is another one of these issues. According to Kevin Bales’ book Disposable People, 27 million people around the world endure forced labor as slaves. According to UNICEF, more than 2 million children are exploited in the global commercial sex trade each year. And according to the U.N., the total market value of human trafficking is over $32 billion. That means slave traders make more money than Google, Nike and Starbucks combined.
So, no, I can’t fix this myself. But as with poverty and AIDS in Africa, the pollution of our oceans, or the new season of Real Housewives, we can all do something: Sponsor a child. Invest in a microloan. Turn off the TV.
And shop! Yesterday Emily Hill launched Stop Traffick Fashion, a site filled with beautiful and very reasonably-priced bags, necklaces and earrings made by adults and children rescued from human trafficking. Your purchase guarantees you a unique accessory while supporting these workers; best of all, a percentage of all sales goes directly to STF’s partners to help rescue others.
Emily reads this blog and has kept me posted about this new initiative. I’m so impressed with her creativity and determination to make the world a better place. And I’m planning a meeting to see if we can do something about Jon & Kate.
the graduates
I’ve been home a couple hours now, but I’m still smiling. Tonight I had the privilege of attending the end of year banquet for Christian Community Services Inc., an organization here in Nashville that helps underserved families become completely self-sufficient—that is, not relying on any form of assistance, government aid, or public housing. To accomplish this mission CCSI pairs mentors from Woodmont Hills Church of Christ and Schrader Lane Church of Christ with “mentees”—usually young single women, usually with a few kids—who commit to nine months of classes on budgeting, parenting, relationships, life skills, and finance. Tonight’s dinner honored this year’s 17 graduates.
I wrote about CCSI for a recent Christian Standard, and I encourage you to read the article to learn about the program’s other components: tutoring for the mentees’ children, relationship-building around shared weekly meals, individual development accounts that encourage and reward saving, and even ongoing support to help graduates become home buyers. It’s a program that could work in any city, and needs to receive more national attention for the immense good it’s doing in this one.
But I also encourage people to check out CCSI because of that curious word “underserved.” When I began researching the ministry and interviewing its staff, I appreciated the focus on personal responsibility and self-sufficiency, but didn’t understand how the families served by CCSI were under served in any way. To be frank, I thought what many of us, if we’re honest, sometimes think: they get our money for food stamps and welfare—sounds like they’re being served just fine.
I quickly learned why the term is so appropriate. In the words of Dr. Jones, minister at Schrader Lane and co-founder of CCSI, “Disenfranchised people do not set out to be that way. And they are not destined to stay that way. But to change the generational patterns, we must show them a better way.”
CCSI provides these students with information you and I may take for granted—why to save money, how to create a budget, why to avoid check advance stores, how to set boundaries in relationships, how to discipline children. With this knowledge, and the love and support of their mentor and the CCSI staff, these women completely change their lives, paying off thousands of dollars in debt, saving for their homes, revolutionizing their family lives, and ending the cycle of unhealthy or unproductive choices.
These women are “underserved” because at some point they missed out on opportunities to learn basic skills and foundational information. CCSI offers a second chance.
So tonight I sat with my new friend Ukela, a graduate and new homeowner who is now a paralegal, actress, model and author, and we cheered for all 17 graduates and for our table mate Angel who signed the papers for her new house at 9:00 this morning. LaTonya gave a great testimony about the difference CCSI made in her life, one of the Tennessee Titans (who’s very cute and who should date Ukela) shared some encouraging words, and, since none of us had the winning orange dot on our program, we made sure Angel got the centerpiece of yellow flowers to take to her new home. And I’m still smiling.
watch it
The God Who Wasn’t There, a new documentary directed by a former Christian, “irreverently lays out the case that Jesus Christ never existed” says Newsweek. The film includes interviews with Sam Harris, Richard Dawkins, and many others.
You’re probably more aware of this one; Entertainment Weekly called comedian Bill Maher’s Religulous “a blasphemous detonation of all things holy and scriptural.”
A few friendly wagers:
While watching these trailers, at least ten of you inwardly bristled and began running through your mental filing cabinet of apologetic arguments. (Bonus points if “liar, lunatic or Lord” crossed your mind.)
At least seven of you thought something like, “Maher protests too much about the foolishness of religion. It’s like he’s trying to push away what he knows in his heart must be true.”
Most of you felt angry, offended, or embarrassed.
None of you rushed to add these films to your Netflix queue.
I’m really not picking on you—after a long day of work who wants to watch two hours of someone mocking your most cherished beliefs? Even though Maher does occasionally make me laugh out loud (“no one powerful enough to cause nuclear war should be overly eager for the Rapture”), neither movie will offer a relaxing and fun experience for those of us who believe in Christ.
But we need to watch them anyway. Because here’s another bet: at some point you have purchased a Christian book—The Case for Christ, perhaps, or Mere Christianity, or Keller’s Reason for God—and foisted it on your skeptic friend/neighbor/coworker/relative. You knew if they would just read it with an open heart it would change everything. You imagined them studying it, maybe with a highlighter, and coming to realize the foolishness of their doubts and disbelief. You glowed with the thrill of evangelism.
Did you ever consider how your friend or family member felt about that book?
My guess is they read part of it (if they opened it at all) or skimmed a few chapters so they could fake their way through a conversation with you later. They may have considered buying you a copy of The God Delusion. Despite your good intentions, they probably resented your gift as much as you resent Religulous.
Which is ironic, because ultimately the movie is less an attack on God than “the vain, deluded things human beings say and do in His name,” EW writes. American evangelicals’ tendency to stubbornly lecture instead of calmly listen invites the very critiques in these movies. Watching one of them won’t immediately change that, but thoughtfully attempting to understand the frustrations and doubts of unbelievers can. There are worse places to start than an open DVD drive and a closed mouth.
success story
Humorist and cookbook author Peg Bracken once described the difference between a gourmet cook and her own humble efforts this way:
[The gourmet's] assignment had been dessert. So, at dessert time, she brought out big plastic bags of old-fashioned plump chocolate-marshmallow cookies.
“I adore these, don’t you?” she beamed, handing them around. And everyone did, thinking, moreover, How original, how posh! But if someone else had done this they’d have thought, Poor child, how naive!
The same principle applies in other areas—people already established as successes in a particular field can often do no wrong, while an unknown but equally-talented counterpart couldn’t pull off the same thing.
This struck me Monday as the buzz began building around Ben Arment’s announcement of his new STORY conference scheduled this October in Chicago. Until this week Arment served as the “Innovation and Experience Director” at Catalyst and is now going out on his own to create a production company for live events and film. STORY is his first project in this new role.
As soon as the news hit, so did the twittering:
@Church Relevance: Ben Arment is putting together another fresh ministry conference called STORY.
@mknisely: #STORY is going 2 do something significant 4 church communicators & open the possibilities 2 a new way of thinking.
@vjProctor: check out STORY by @BenArment – a first-of-its-kind experience -
@GBrenna: I’m pretty excited about this!!! (thanks @BenArment)
@mknisely: dude. #STORY is going to be off the hook. i cannot wait.
I’m not knocking the conference; in fact, Monday I emailed Christian Standard and offered it to cover it if they would pay my expenses and registration. (No response yet.)
But what I find amazing is that within minutes, hundreds of people around the world were not only talking about this new venture but singing its praises. It’s true Arment has a history of successes, and that influences us; J.J. Abrams was able to get the new Star Trek movie made in part because of his track record creating TV shows like LOST, Alias, and Fringe. We all build on past successes and Arment’s work speaks for itself.
So kudos to him. But I wonder what would happen if someone else, someone less well known and less affiliated with other hip initiatives, created the exact same conference. How much do we miss out on because it’s new or needs better branding? Is it that loser’s fault for not doing a better job grabbing our attention, or ours for being so hard to impress?
In the investment world, past performance does not guarantee future results. But in marketing and personal branding, past coolness predicts future acceptance. “Mrs. Tiffany can wear paste beads, and J. Paul Getty can wear out-at-the-elbow sweaters, too,” Bracken writes. “That’s the way the world wags, and no one has yet discovered what to do about it.”
in the enews—thursday
I wanted to share this earlier, but I was sworn to secrecy.
Well, not really, since by definition anything presented in enewsletter form can’t be considered confidential. But I like the idea of covert ops—in fact, during our senior year of college, my roommate Kiley and I wasted several evenings participating in a relatively complex scavenger hunt/”spy mission” orchestrated by our friend Matt, who shared our love of all things James Bond and our boredom with all things Grove City.
So today’s enews item, from 2|42 Community Church in Brighton, MI, is extra fun. In a recent church newsletter, 2|42’s lead pastor David Dummitt wrote, “Shhhhhh! Don’t let the rest of the staff know that I’m talking to you! I’m hoping you can help me with something, but it has to be a secret if it’s going to work. May 6th the entire 2|42 staff will spend a day away from the office connecting with God and each other at a staff retreat. Will you help me inspire and encourage them by simply sending me email messages addressed to the staff? You can address one person, one ministry, or the entire staff. You can tell a story or explain how their ministry has helped you take next steps with God. We are so blessed to have not only a tremendously talented and creative staff, but a group of folks that truly love Jesus. Will you help me encourage them?”
Love this—what a kind and meaningful way for Dave to serve his team. Maybe next year he could tape the emails under pianos or rewrite them with invisible ink or make the recipient eat a note after reading it. Just a thought in case Brighton’s as boring as western PA.
I’m always pleasantly surprised by the simple but effective ideas 