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Chicken Soup for the NASCAR Soul

Being afraid of any bug you can kill with one stomp.

Why we use those little fish food pellets for communion. We have multi-million dollar sound systems. Bread is too expensive?

Why none of the children I grew up with had peanut allergies, but today every third kid swells up if he walks past a jar of JIF.

The parents who bring two year olds to the 10:00 movie. I know, you can’t get a sitter and you, wrongly, believe your child will fall asleep or play quietly. Let me tell you what will really happen: he will wriggle and wail and neither you nor anyone else in the theater will enjoy (or hear) the movie they paid $11 to see.

Decorative soap.

Why one of my investment reports arrives wrapped in thick black plastic. My mailman probably thinks I’m ordering porn.

Being passive-aggressive. It requires so much more energy in the long run.

Non-Italians who pronounce ricotta “Reeh-coht-tah.” (Maybe that’s something I find annoying, not confusing. Hmm—another list idea.)

Why I have to remove my shoes and scrimp on shampoo to get through airport security but the catering people and luggage handlers who actually spend their days hanging around airplanes receive only occasional security checks.

People who ask a question and then interrupt you as you start to answer.

Why church leaders obsessed with “cultural relevance” also preach 35 minute sermons.

Further confusion here.