Write About Now

I haven’t received one “yes” to a prayer in five years.

Clarity about whether to leave California? Guidance about which professional avenues to explore? Opportunities to be proactive and positive in a negative situation? Improvement of my physical health? A spiritual breakthrough with an atheist boyfriend?

Nyet.

On the other hand, I’ve received many blessings I never asked for: the health and safety of my loved ones. A good church and new friends in Nashville. More freelance work than I really have time for.

Needless to say, this causes me to ask questions.

For one, was I asking for the wrong things? They all seem like healthy and God-honoring requests to me.

And was I asking with the wrong motives? I don’t think so.

If asking is okay, and I asked for good reasons, and still I receive no answers (or “no” answers), we arrive at my latest question: Should I bother?

Perhaps I’m just going to get what I’m going to get—which is certainly more than I deserve, and certainly God’s prerogative. In that case, the goal becomes gratitude in spite of his apparent silence. And that means daily opportunities to grow in patience and maturity……which is probably what I should have been asking for the whole time.

My dad once told me God’s no answers are often the prelude to a yes we never could have imagined. If that’s true, I’m more than ready for the next movement.