Write About Now

As thrilling as my Labor Day activities are (a long nap on the couch and vacuuming up wallpaper scraps from a weekend extravaganza of DIY), I keep thinking about a Facebook conversation last week. On Friday, I realized it had been several years since I’d participated in a small group and I didn’t miss it at all. I posted this thought on Facebook and Twitter to see if others agreed or if I was a spiritual leper, and got a mixture of responses.

One insightfully pointed out that introverts like me don’t feel the need for this kind of enforced togetherness as much as more extroverted temperaments do, but it’s still important.

Another agreed that if you have a healthy support system of friends and read the Bible on your own, a group’s not necessary.

Others said perhaps we should focus on what we bring to a group rather than what we get from it; one lamented this perspective as the churchy argument of small group gurus, another kindly defended it.

I’ve written about this issue before; when I joined a group in California a few years ago it struck me I already had a small group of close friends to “do life with” and wasn’t likely to build similar relationships with a gaggle of acquaintances over discussions of John Ortberg books and lukewarm soda.

I still feel that way, but last week’s FB conversation showed I am not just pragmatic, I’m selfish—because I don’t want to give up 2-4 hours a week to “be a blessing” in a group I get nothing from. I’m not interested in praying for your son’s friend’s mother’s job, or hearing you tell a group member every week that they need to “just trust God,” or listening as someone pontificates her opinions about the assigned chapter she didn’t read.

“The bottom line for me is that, as Christians, we are all part of the body of Christ,” wrote the small groups supporter on Facebook. “No matter how flawed we may be, we need to stick together and find some way to be connected with other Christians…it doesn’t have to be the same for everyone…it might be a small group, a Sunday school class, a service group, the list goes on…but we shouldn’t be out there all by ourselves, even if we think we are fine.”

I can’t argue with that, but I also refuse to spend another night of my life forcing artificial community with strangers. I think the solution is LTGs.

Neil Cole, author of Organic Church, Search and Rescue and Organic Leadership, has built a church planting movement around these Life Transformation Groups. Each group has just two or three members of the same gender, and each member reads lots of scripture (around 30 chapters each week), confesses his sins to the others, and prays with them for others who need Christ.

Like so many other things, this idea’s simplicity is its effectiveness. A focus on Scripture—not study guides or “Christian living” books—can challenge anyone from day-old believers to lifetime Christians. Very small groups force authenticity and provide accountability. Confession and prayer cut through Christian cliche and forge the “bonding” small group pastors long for.

It’s a back to basics approach that allows people of every spiritual maturity level to grow deeper, and to do it in community. It’s also the only type of group I’ll consider participating in. Now that I’ve alienated every publisher of small group material, I’ll go back to my Labor Day.