an open letter « Write About Now

an open letter

head_author1 Dear Dr. Keller,
Thank you so much for speaking at Christ Presbyterian last week. I love that you still make time for the handful of churches that helped plant Redeemer 20 years ago. Thanks for traveling so far, and on such a brutal travel day, when Nashville received a whole 1/8″ of snow—almost enough to cover the grass. Sheer bravery, sir.

It seemed everyone was reading your latest book during Christmas, and I enjoyed the opportunity to hear your own summary of its message and the application to church life. Your description of healing spiritual communities and our responsibility to them as family members should be required listening for every Christian, both leader and layman, and if you ever release it as an MP3 I’m forwarding the link to everyone I know.

But I’m not as eager to share the first half of your lecture, because it taps directly into the most personal spiritual questions I wrestle with. For those reading this blog who weren’t there and aren’t you (that would be just about everyone), the first half of Wednesday night’s talk revisited the parable of the prodigal son and showed how both the prodigal and his older brother are guilty of disobeying the Father—one through promiscuity and rebellion, the other through self-righteous moralism. They both want the Father’s gifts instead of relationship with the Father, and although the elder brother expresses that desire in more culturally and religiously acceptable ways—obedience, duty, judgmentalism—both are lost. Both want to be their own master and savior, and the only solution for them and for us all is Jesus and his willingness to bring each of us back to the family at his own expense.

As you spoke, I could almost see light bulbs snapping on above people’s heads. Most of us have heard this parable dozens of times and think we understand our role as the prodigal and God’s role as the Father rushing to extend grace. I’m sure your brilliant exposition of the story caused many in that audience to realize for the first time their identification with the older brother and their own tendency to choose rules instead of relationship.

But here’s the thing: I get than I’m an elder brother. Whether it’s this parable or the one in Matthew 20, I always identify with the long-suffering character who feels cheated. Like the prodigal’s brother or the early morning vineyard workers, I show up and do my job and fulfill expectations. I work hard and remain loyal and try to be obedient. I do stuff I don’t want to do and give money I don’t want to give. I demonstrate character when it would be easier and more fun to throw a screaming fit. I try to take the high road although traffic is light.

However, I don’t feel cheated because the prodigals receive grace and blessing just like me. I feel cheated—no, I believe confused, frustrated, and furious would be more appropriate—because they often receive way more blessings, the blessings I want, the blessings I deserve not because I am a righteous person but because God promised them.

Both the elder brother and I may be too rules-focused, but neither one of us set up the rules—the Father did. He promises to fulfill our hearts if we delight in him (Psalm 37). He promises to make our paths straight if we acknowledge and follow him (Proverbs 3). My heart is less than fulfilled and my paths are more crooked than Bernie Madoff. So either He changed the game or He wants the rules to remain unclear—is it really that terrible to feel betrayed?

I’m continuing to obey despite my limited understanding. But I do wish the parable had a third sibling—the sister who doesn’t want to control the Father, she just wants to understand His actions once in a while……even if it’s as infrequent as Nashville getting a real snow.

Thanks for reading.

Jen

February 4, 2009 - Posted by Jennifer | God, people, resources | Christ Presbyterian, legalism, New York, Prodigal God, prodigal son, Redeemer, Tim Keller | 4 Comments

4 Comments »

Okay… this is weird. I was just reading Matthew 20 a couple of days ago and had the same thoughts. It seems to me that Jesus knew that those of who have grown up in the church would have a problem with this very thing. He knows that we will have trouble wrapping our minds around the fact that everyone will experience the same grace regardless of what our life experience has been. It’s similar to the problem of pain and suffering. We worry so much about the fairness of things. I wonder how children living in poverty grow up to understand how God loves them as much as he loves my children. That’s why it was so important to Jesus for us to “get” how important it is to God how we treat the “least of these.”

We try so hard to reconcile these things. Our little minds just can’t understand God’s economy. We are hung up on cause and effect. If we work really hard and are faithful we will be more blessed. I wrestle with these thoughts everyday.

I am cursed with one of those people-pleasing personalities. As you can see, I tend to view that as a flaw. The underlying thought that is that I just want to be wanted. In my family, social, church and work life – I just want to be wanted. My head knows that I don’t need to be wanted. My heart is just aching for it. It’s not even wanting to be needed either. It all goes back to a desire to be significant to someone, anyone, everyone.

I had an epiphany a few days ago. I wonder if God plants in a few of us this desire to be wanted (maybe all of us) because he wants us to see things from his perspective. He certainly doesn’t need us. He doesn’t need to be wanted. But he did create us because he wanted us to want him. He wanted us to choose him. He wants to choose Him regardless of our circumstance. He wants us to choose him because we know him and have faith in him that in the end it will all make sense. And in the end, I really mean beginning… Heaven/eternity.

He also knows that if we think about this too much, our brains may melt.
Thanks for helping me exercise my spiritual muscle.

Comment by Robin Davis | February 6, 2009 | Reply
I have always identified with the older brother. I have always felt that I was always taken for granted because I was always the “good” one and the attention was given to the one that has strayed or has done a fantastic thing. But, time after time I have been reminded that I am not good. Then I feel guilty. Then I persevere and keep on doing what I perceive is right and I become the “good” one again, at least in my eyes. Then I am once again reminded through some event or from something that someone says that I am not good, then I feel guilty etc. in an ever vicious cycle. But tenderly, through quiet time with God, through His Word and by His grace I am reminded that He is good and He loves me. And because He loves me, I am saved. I just wish I didn’t have to go through the cycle so much!

Comment by Valerie Reed | February 7, 2009 | Reply
The Prodigal Son is probably my LEAST favorite in the Bible – largely b/c I’m think of myself as the “older” brother too. I wrote about it on my “God Blog” too: http://everydayplaces.blogspot.com/2008/05/i-found-god-in-un-fairness.html

Like you, I find it a daily struggle not to be grumpy when blessings, “things,” “stuff” goes to the whiner vs. the “good” child. But I can also see the times when I’M the whiner… and still receive God’s blessings. There is another really neat article here: http://www.lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-266-23,00.html that talks about the blessings the older brother has already received. You might find it interesting as well.

Great note!
Mags
everydayplaces.blogspot.com

Comment by Mags | February 9, 2009 | Reply
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