all ready
I watched the inauguration ceremony and bits of the other celebrations between meetings with the Christian Standard contributing editors yesterday. While the two events seem completely opposite, they discouraged me equally.
I’m fascinated by the fascination with our new First Lady’s wardrobe. The blog Mrs. O chronicles her daily fashion choices with behind-the-scenes information on designers and stores, and I doubt you were able to pick up a paper or visit a major website today without pics of her white one-shouldered ball gown from last night. Even the New York Times got in on it with a 90-second analysis of Mrs. Obama’s “vigorously stylish” fashion choices.
My parents’ generation remembers the Camelot of the Kennedy years and mine now celebrates the yet-to-be-nicknamed Obama presidency with its own confident young leader, his beautiful and trend-setting wife, and their two adorable young children. Michelle’s degrees from Princeton and Harvard Law School and her prestigious work experiences just gild the Jason Wu-wearing lily, taking the Jackie O. to Mrs. O comparison right up to 2009.
I’m jealous. Of her money, her education, her beauty, her influence, her experiences.
The contributing editors meeting is also fascinating, with challenging brainstorming sessions, extended discussions over second and third cups of coffee, and new insights into old ideas. I always leave these gatherings with books to read, websites to visit, and ideas to ponder; devotions by Jon Weece and Randy Gariss and several encouraging conversations topped it off this year.
And I’m jealous: of these leaders’ opportunities, their influence, their education, their experience.
At age 32, it seems I should be further (farther?) along by now—I should have my own confident and accomplished husband, my own children, my own course to greatness. I should be leading big ministries like my contemporaries Jon Weece at Southland or Kyle Idleman at Southeast. I should have written a book or two, launched my own ground-breaking social justice organization, or mobilized thousands toward a cause. I should, at minimum, know whether it’s “further” or “farther.”
Yesterday I felt inspired by our country’s peaceful transfer of power and discouraged by my own lack of influence…..honored to rub shoulders with our movement’s leaders and frustrated by my own small contributions to our gathering…….ready and eager for something more and unsure what exactly that is.
The scholar and theologian Erasmus said, “The summit of happiness is reached when a person is ready to be what he is.” I’m confident I’m not going to be the president’s wife or a megachurch pastor……..but I’m ready to be more than a bored freelance writer.
11 Comments »
Leave a comment
Jennifer Taylor
My Other Sites
Twittering @seejenwrite- seejenwrite: Looking forward to hearing @susanisaacs and @donmilleris tonite. Flexing my fingers in preparation for copious note-taking.
- seejenwrite: Buying tix for trip to Orlando in January!
- seejenwrite: Here are my thoughts about the Twilight craze, from earlier this year: http://ow.ly/E3Vc
- seejenwrite: @FlowerDust See you there!
Ah,Jen…I’m your dad’s age, so older than you…and I felt a similar jealousy watching the Obama family throughout all the day’s events…not about what my life never will be but what it never was.
Keep reaching, though, if you feel that need inside you now. I did, and I’m not sorry, even though the big change I made from publishing mid-manager to on-my-own freelancer brought its own challenges. I think I made the change when I was indeed “ready to be what I am,” and the last few years I’ve been learning even more about who I am, and it’s been good.
But don’t reach for “should”–that’s an imprisoning word, often filled with untrue beliefs. There’s quite possibly a lot more out there for you than what you think there should be!
Diane Stortz
http://pressedforward@wordpress.com
Jen,
Today and Right Now
1. You have a national (maybe international) audience.
2. You push us all to re-examine ourselves.
3. You generously model vulnerability and transparency.
4. The Kingdom is better because of all you do.
I’ll add another word of encouragement. You’re contributing far more than you imagine, and you’ve still got time to figure out who you are. Though, I know, waiting can be the hard part. If you want to add another book to your reading list, one I’ve just started will speak to your current musing and not leave you bored: “Wide Awake” by Erwin McManus.
Thanks, friends. They say 40 is the new 30–apparently 32 is the next 17.
I recently read 1 Corinthians 7 and had similar thoughts. I’d argue with Paul, but he was single and, you know, inspired.
St. Augustine has always been my inspiration in matters of perceived success.
I bet your hair didn’t look nearly that good when you were seventeen.
I often feel the same frustration (and then, the guilt). I am encouraged when I think about the several godly people in my life who make a tremendous difference, but who are unknown to the much of the rest of the world. They take in the homeless, serve as interim ministers to small and dying churches that cannot find professionals who would help them, they work at the church’s food bank, they do construction work on the church building so that the church can save money, they host overnight parties for teenage girls in their homes even though their children are much younger, they write letters to prisoners, they visit hospitals, and many other things that are significant even though generally unknown to others. Their examples remind me that it’s important to help even when it goes unnoticed and unappreciated. I’m sure people are looking at you in the same way. In all likelihood, you are inspiring someone without even knowing it. Keep persevering, and you’ll make it
.
My one comment on your blog – My mom always says “Well, we really must have been sittin’ around sucking our thumbs!” in comparison to any accomplishments we compare ourselves with. Whenever we compare ourselves to others, the view always looks better from the outside in.
If it helps…I’m quite often jealous of your wisdom, influence, education, and experience.
Anna, you’re kind. Thanks.
[...] of young lives, and now her influence extends to me. Instead of grumbling about a situation (as I’ve been known to do), Mossy did the best she could with a strong faith, a marketable skill, and a good attitude. Her [...]
Pingback by mossy meadows « Write About Now | February 16, 2009 |
[...] Is this it? I’m ready for more. [...]
Pingback by happy blogiversery « Write About Now | April 19, 2009 |