real simple
Some of my friends choose a theme word each year; it might be an area to focus on, a concept to remember, or a principle to guide decision-making. I like the idea, and I loved Sarah’s choice of “delight” as her theme for 2008, but I’ve never chosen an annual word myself.
Until today. This afternoon I spent several hours with my friend Mildred. She was born in 1916 and, at my request, our conversations include lots of stories from her life. Some of them are fascinating: her new father-in-law accompanying Mildred and husband Vernon on the first leg of their honeymoon trip, sticking his head out the car window to navigate while Vernon drove through the midwestern dust bowl conditions of 1934; mixing up milk and Karo syrup to make formula for a hungry baby; working for a stock trader when the term referred to livestock instead of investments.
But it was her nonchalant description of daily life during these years that most affected me. “One day Vernon came home and said the haymill where he worked had little two-room houses for the workers, and he got one of those for us,” she said. “We bought a table and four chairs at the second-hand store, and a bed and a mattress and a chest of drawers and a kerosene stove and an oven to put on top. We didn’t have running water—I cooked lunch for the guys every day and whoever got there first had to draw water from the cistern. I heated water on the stove and washed on a board. We got eggs and milk and cream from the animals, and bought some lard and potatoes. Once in a while we got a chicken.”
I don’t want to wash clothes by hand and I’m immensely grateful for hot running water, but as she talked I found myself longing for this uncomplicated life. Mildred and Vernon and their friends worked together, ate lunch together, and celebrated holidays together. There wasn’t much stuff to worry about because there wasn’t much stuff, and people appreciated “little” things—a watermelon, a doll, a few extra cents.
Between the physical labor and the financial worries, I know these were hard times. I don’t mean to romanticize them, and I’m grateful for the many opportunities I have that Mildred could only dream of. But with those opportunities come so many options: dozens of things to learn about, hundreds of books to read, thousands of songs on my iPod, millions of websites to surf—at times it’s overwhelming. Should I stay with Verizon or switch to AT&T and get an iPhone? How many emails can I answer and consider myself caught up for today? What blogs do I need to be reading? How many flights does Southwest have to Orange County, can Laura look in on Louie while I’m gone, I’ll have to remember to buy more milk when I get back, I think Publix had a sale on organic milk this week, I should read that article about which foods to buy organic, I wish I had time to read the paper every day, they say the written newspaper is irrelevant in the internet age, I wonder how that will affect some of the publications I write for, that will probably be on the agenda for the meeting in Florida, I wonder how many flights Southwest has….and on and on it goes.
I have more belongings, more food, more money, and more choices than I need. In a country and a century that values those choices as never before, it seems almost wrong to write that sentence. But this week I’ve stressed out trying to decide what to do with my free time. That’s wrong.
So my 2009 theme is “simplify.” Not the just-back-from-a-mission-trip version that vows to sell everything and live on carrots, or the Target-in-January version that buys Rubbermaid storage containers—my life is already organized (and charitable). Not even the save-a-tree version, although the environment will probably benefit as a result.
Instead, this year I’m going to increase my contentment and gratitude by intentionally limiting my options. Fewer channels, fewer subscriptions. One great purchase instead of three mediocre ones. Fewer $5 DVDs just because they’re $5 and more listening to the 167 unheard podcasts currently saved on my computer. (You read that right.) Less multitasking and more focus. Less “what if” and more “what is.”
As 2008 slides out of the present and into the filing cabinet, I could categorize it under Stressful or Exhausting. Perhaps Challenging, if you catch me on the right day. Rarely Delightful, and never Simple.
This year that’s going to change. Maybe it’s the frenetic pace I’ve pushed myself into the past four months, but when you start pining for a two-room house with a butter churn, it’s time to slow down.
Mary Christmas
I don’t worship Mary, I don’t pray to Mary, and I certainly don’t believe she was sinless. But I will say this—the girl had guts. And I’m so grateful.
book it
December always brings lists; Time magazine just released an entire issue devoted to the “top 10 everything of 2008″ and many other magazine and blog authors create their own best-of lists this time of year. These always sell well—with the incredible amount of information available to us, it’s helpful to sort out the events, people, movies, music or activities worth our time.
We also enjoy these lists because they provide new insights into our culture. (This year the top two Yahoo! Searches, ahead of any presidential candidate or news story, were Britney Spears and wrestling league WWE. No wonder the rest of the world hates us.)
If you haven’t already, you need to check out Christian Standard’s recent list of books that made a difference to our contributing editors this year. They include history, theology, business leadership and current events and I’ve added several to my own must-reads list for 2009. N.T. Wright’s books, of course, were already there, but some others—including Nancy Karpenske’s mention of God Talk: Cautions for Those Who Hear God’s Voice and Doug Priest’s recommendation of Saving God’s Green Earth—are books I will benefit from and wouldn’t have found on my own.
Check out the list here, and let me know what books influenced you this year. But if they involve Britney or professional wrestling, keep it to yourself.
trust and obey
As my friends have children it’s interesting to observe their parenting styles. One friend, with not one but two “strong willed” little people prone to temper tantrums, has been known to abandon her full grocery cart and take one or both outside to the van for a time out (and probably a spanking). Another friend’s daughter obeys the first time, almost every time, because my friend decided age 2 rebellion was easier to deal with than the age 5 (or age 15) variety and began “training the child in the way she should go” beginning in toddlerhood. Two other dear friends require their preschoolers to answer every directive with “Yes, mom” or “Yes, dad,” which eliminates the kids’ opportunity to ignore those terrible requests to pick up toys, get ready for bed, or eat three more bites.
Such tactics are necessary because obedience doesn’t come naturally to us, no matter what our age. The term implies submission to something unpleasant or uninvited, and we don’t always understand our parent’s reason for mandating a clean room or an early bedtime.
It’s the same with our heavenly father—although I believe his commands are motivated by love and concern for my well-being, I don’t always understand why God asks me to do certain things.
Like last night. I’ve blogged about starting a Bible study in my apartment complex and—although I wasn’t sure I wanted to do it—felt sure God did want me to. So last week I created snazzy four-color flyers about a no-obligation info meeting on December 11 and posted them on the bulletin boards around the mailboxes. Last night I made a fire and a pot of coffee, and waited.
And waited. Nothing. No one showed.
To be honest, my reaction was a mixture of disappointment and relief. I am off the hook now, after all—I gave it my best shot and can let go of this without guilty should-haves. But I thought this idea was from God. It certainly was God-honoring. If no one was going to show, why did He have me bother?
Maybe it was my own idea after all. Maybe my faithfulness to the small things is training for being faithful and obedient in something bigger. Or maybe, like picking up my toys even though I’m just going to get them all out again tomorrow, it serves some purpose I don’t understand.
My friends earn and invest the money, buy and cook the food, clean the house, care for the pets, handle the bills, provide the clothes, maintain the cars, and do a thousand other things—they’re happy to be in charge, they love their kids, and all they expect from these little ones is obedience in a few small tasks. My Father dreamed up everything in the universe, created all of it, keeps the whole thing spinning, sent Jesus to rescue it, and still knows the flight plan of every sparrow. He’s in charge, He loves me, and when he asks for obedience I am learning to say, “Yes, Dad”—even when my assigned chores don’t make sense.
give a little
Here are some startling statistics: Americans spend $450 billion each Christmas, lack of clean water kills more people every day than any other cause, and the worldwide water crisis could be solved for just $10 billion. Starting with those facts, the Advent Conspiracy movement encourages people to spend time with loved ones instead of purchasing gifts and to give that money away in the name of Christ. AC partners with Living Water International to dig wells and provide clean water in Africa, India, and South America, and churches across the country are collecting special offerings this month to benefit Living Water.
Here are some more numbers to get your attention: the amount of money spent just on candy, during just three months of the year, is more than the annual budgets of The American Cancer Society, The American Heart Association, and Habitat for Humanity combined. Redefine Christmas doesn’t ask you to stop all gift-giving or redirect your candy money toward clean water (although it does add a whole second layer of guilt to that Snickers bar, doesn’t it?). Instead, they urge you to give to family, friends, and charitable causes at the same time by donating to organizations reflecting the interests and passions of the recipient.
For instance, Jen Gherardi, a Christian Standard reader who wrote to tell me about Redefine Christmas, suggests you honor the parent or grandparent who read you countless bedtime stories with a donation to First Book or another charity dedicated to improving literacy and providing books to needy children. Your sister who loves to cook might be touched with a donation in her name to a ministry dedicated to alleviating hunger, your animal-loving brother would appreciate a gift to the ASPCA, and your best friend who adores So You Think You Can Dance could enjoy knowing you made a gift to the Alvin Ailey Dance Foundation. (If enough of us gave to that, these reality shows might eventually go off the air—and that’s what they mean by a gift that keeps on giving, folks.)
Redefine Christmas provides links to all these groups and hundreds more and provides a personalized card for you to announce each gift. You can also purchase gift cards for the recipient who might enjoy choosing her own charity and “gift baskets” with assortments of charities united by a topic like mentoring children, planting trees, or working for peace. The site even offers ecards for you to request donations to your own favorite organization in lieu of gifts for yourself.
My family stopped giving gifts to each other a few years ago. While I’d like to say this decision was driven by philanthropy, the more pressing reasons were the cost of buying them and the hassle of schlepping them around the country. (A holiday tip: If you ever have the opportunity to check a bag and fly the red-eye at 12:00 a.m. on Christmas Eve from LAX to Cincinnati, just……don’t.)
But it’s not too late to redirect some Christmas dollars toward improving the world, and this year I plan to join the conspiracy and redefine my Christmas by giving to a worthy cause. I may start with Alvin Ailey.
going postal
Letters, we get letters…..Actually, I rarely receive any about my writing. I’m quite fine with this—although some affirmation would be nice now and then, people usually write only when they’re unhappy, so the absence of mail about my Buzz column usually indicates I’ve at least gotten my facts straight.
My recent “Share Dance” Buzz entry didn’t have any inaccuracies, but it did get me one note. (Actually, an email—no one writes letters anymore, even critics.) “Share Dance” talked about a homeless ministry in Pittsburgh and its recent “sock hop” which included 1950s-style music and dancing. (Yep, you know where this is going.) The theme also fit with the ministry’s purpose behind the event—to gather dozens of pairs of new socks for the men and women living on the city’s streets.
You can read the whole thing here. And below you can read the almost-as-short critique I received this week:
The article by Jennifer Taylor on SHARE DANCE page 13 of the December 3rd issue of Christian Standard was inappropriate, repulsive, and anti-scriptural. (I John 2:15).
I can’t imagine Sam Stone, Ed Hayden, or Burris Butler permitting such things in the Christian Standard.
Sincerely in Christ,
xxxxxx
Well. I could talk about 1 John’s admonition not to love the world or anything in it, and speculate about which worldly things—food? TV? really right-wing talk radio?—the critic loves a little too much. Or I could describe the difference between 1950s-style dancing and the get-a-room dancing in clubs today. Or I could question how one finds an outreach to homeless people inappropriate and repulsive.
But……..no. I’ll just mention one mistake by the note’s author—”Share Dance” actually appeared in the November 30 issue. Perhaps reading glasses are too worldly.
free love
At some point every Tuesday, I submit two or three news tidbits for the Christian Standard enews published the next day. On busy weeks with a lot happening this might be accomplished before noon. Other weeks I’ve sat bleary-eyed at my computer until after midnight, scouring church and Bible college websites for something interesting. (Around Halloween I always consider reporting the discovery of a church NOT doing a Harvest Carnival—now that would be newsworthy.)
Tomorrow’s enews will include Summit Christian Church’s “Amnesty Marriage Ceremony.” On Saturday evening the Summit ministry staff conducted a fee-free wedding ceremony open to any interested couple, with a stated goal of encouraging men and women living together to make it legal without the cost and hassle of a big wedding. To participate, the couples just had to show up with a valid marriage license; the church even provided flowers and a photographer.
Apparently there is a big need for this. The “Free Nuptials” program at Harmony Christian Church reaches a similar audience by offering a church wedding at little cost four weekends a year. But HCC takes it a step further; they require each participating couple to attend a Friday night/Saturday seminar and four additional small-group sessions. In return, the church’s sound tech, wedding coordinator, janitorial staff, and senior minister volunteer their services.
At the last small group session, the church issues a challenge. “I ask each couple to honor God’s Word by being celibate from that day until the honeymoon and praying together for God’s blessing on their future marriage,” says Harmony’s senior minister Kevin Pigg. “Scott and Carrie now attend my small group; Carrie returned to her faith and Scott was baptized. Mark and Tricia joined the church after Tricia accepted Christ. Jake and Echo want to start their own small group, and I haven’t even baptized them yet!”
It’s cheaper to live together than alone, and I doubt finances are the only reason some of these couples haven’t married. But I’m glad to see a few churches proactively addressing the issue and encouraging commitment along with cohabitation. And I’m glad Summit picked last Saturday for their big event—I really needed something for tomorrow’s enews.
Jennifer Taylor
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