Write About Now

Most of these small dancers were girls, and the recital was full of feminine pageantry—pink princess outfits, butterflies with shiny wings, purple hot pants, swept-up hairdos, and lots and lots of glitter.

Feminists might object to such stereotypes, but these little girls loved every minute. “Look at my outfit,” four-year-old Avery commanded me, her eyes shining as she shimmied her hips. “My skirt is twirly.”

It’s old news, I hope, that men and women are equal in value. But while God created us equally, He also hardwired males and females very differently.

You can observe this by spending just an hour or two in a room of small children. Notice the girls cuddling dolls or pretending to cook while the boys smash trucks into piles or “shoot” each other with plastic guns. (One young mother I know banned violent toys from her home; her son responded by using his index finger as a gun to blow up the bad guys in his closet.)

These differences even show up during play with “gender-neutral” toys like puzzles or games; boys often demonstrate less conversation and more competition than their female peers.

Recognizing these tendencies doesn’t have to mean a return to rigid old-school thinking (“No son of mine will hold a doll!”). Some boys danced in the recital, of course (many of them as chickens, leaving trails of feathers behind suggestive of a large molting episode), just as many girls play sports and climb trees. Any generalizations are potentially unfair, and some should be retired completely for the physical and social growth of both sexes.

But I am suggesting we remember, and celebrate, our unique roles as male and female. Although Avery might grow up to be a lawyer, teacher, or engineer, on Saturday she just wanted to be a princess. It’s an affirmation of God’s plan, not a betrayal of feminism, to acknowledge that desire inside every woman. We deserve equal pay for equal work, but sometimes work’s more fun in a twirly skirt.