I’ve got your valentine right here
After four years of dating (and being dumped by) a series of men from other parts of the country, I met a great guy right here in California—just four weeks before I leave.
God has quite a sense of humor.
Nothing’s going to come of it, of course, because in addition to being kind, successful, and easy on the eyes, he’s also not stupid. Why would he invest in me when I’m bound for the faraway land of fried meat and gun racks?
Even if I were staying, chances are we wouldn’t work out any more than my other relationships have. But it’s the principle of the thing—it feels like God’s getting in one last dig to punctuate several years of disappointments, and it seems rather cruel.
Does that sentence make you uncomfortable? Cruel isn’t an adjective we typically apply to God. The Bible says he’s loving, gracious, patient, merciful, compassionate. It says he won’t give us a stone if we ask for bread. But some days I seem to be knee-deep in stones, and I bet you do, too. How should we process that?
If God is so eager to be in relationship with us, why does he so often keep his distance? (Please no cliched comments about “If God seems far away, guess who moved.” Read Psalm 44.) God keeps our tears in a bottle and cares about the direction of our lives—so why does he seem to ignore so many prayers?
In Disappointment with God, Philip Yancey writes, “[This] does not come only in dramatic circumstances….I have found that petty disappointments tend to accumulate over time, undermining my faith with a lava flow of doubt. I start to wonder whether God cares about everyday details—about me. I am tempted to pray less often, having concluded in advance that it won’t matter. Or will it? My emotions and faith waver.”
I’ve long since passed the stage of questioning God’s sovereignty or his power to do good. Instead, I find myself grappling with his desire to do good. Although I’ve known him most of my life, I don’t yet understand what I can ask for, or which of those bread prayers will result in more stone answers.
One thing I do know: for six months I’ve smiled patiently while people yank Jeremiah 29:11 out of context and earnestly quote it to me. In honor of Valentine’s Day, I’m smacking the next person who does.
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Jennifer Taylor
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Twittering @seejenwrite- seejenwrite: Looking forward to hearing @susanisaacs and @donmilleris tonite. Flexing my fingers in preparation for copious note-taking.
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Thanks for the honesty Jen. Self-absorption is the phrase that comes to my mind. How often I whine about what I don’t have, instead of being grateful that God has been treating me better than I deserve all along.
Who will dare to be the first to respond? I don’t have time right now – I have to go out and buy some flowers for my wife.
Does “He who began a good work in you…” deserve a smack?!?!
By the way, it says plan for hope and a future…not necessarily a husband…
Most of us probably feel that way from time to time. Not everyone admits it. I’ve no great words of wisdom. The psalmist did complain about God to God too, so there is nothing new about what you are feeling. There is some benefit to keeping prayers of complaint just that: prayers nonetheless.
Jen,
Thanks for the thoughts. As I thought about it the first impulse I had was to defend God and to explain away your feelings. In spite of the fact that I went through a similar situation a couple of years ago and had the same sort of feelings. We have a hard time reconciling God’s goodness with our perception of what good is.
I have other thoughts racing through my mind right now, but I won’t take up anymore of your space with them. Thanks again for your thoughts.
Hmmm. Really great guy…right before you’re about to move…maybe it’s…SATAN?!?
heh.
Hey Jennifer — didn’t anybody every tell you God doesn’t always answer in our time but in His time. I admit — I’m like you. Sometimes disappointed with His timing. . .but still trusting that He knows what’s best for me. Maybe it’s just a faith-stretching moment. I don’t know. If your new friend gets a job transfer to Nashville in the next couple of months, what will you think then?
That God came to his senses and did the right thing, of course.