Each Wednesday evening for the last three weeks I’ve spent a couple of hours “tutoring” a small group of nine and ten year old students at a learning center for children in low-income families.
I say “tutoring” because often it takes all my energy and effort just to keep them somewhat quiet, somewhat focused, and using more English than Spanish (one of the center’s rules). This Wednesday I stopped the students from poking each other, singing like Beyonce, spending 30 minutes at the pencil sharpener, whining about not wanting to do homework, and talking over each other to get my attention. I don’t think I helped them accomplish much academically.
These aren’t bad kids. Leslie delights in reading and in coloring pictures of flowers for my refrigerator. When Jose isn’t ogling the two teenage girls tutoring other groups or complaining about his work, he’s funny, bright, and honest. (“Teacher, can I be in their group? Well, can we leave the door open so I can just look at them?”) Cristian proudly announced on Wednesday that he had no homework because he’d been suspended—but in addition to being something of a troublemaker, he’s also self-aware, charming, and extremely smart. I want to see him make better choices as he gets older; I’ve met few kids with so much potential.
So, no, they’re not bad kids, they’re just the products of elementary school classes with 40 other students, families with half a dozen children, and poor, dangerous neighborhoods. (They find it fascinating that I live alone–I’m not sure if they’re more intrigued by my privacy or my foolishness. “You’re not scared?” they ask.)
Very few of them receive much personal time from any adult, and they learned early on to talk louder, act sillier, whine longer, and disobey more often to win attention.
Not surprisingly, they thrive with just a few minutes of one-on-one. When I managed to maintain enough order to work with Jose, he used a dictionary for the first time and loved the challenge of finding specific words based on the page headings. He liked the activity so much he asked to skip game time and keep working.
When I can quiet the group enough to focus on Duyana, she transforms from brash, disruptive, and scattered to shy, sweet, and…………still ditzy. But I can work with that, you know?
For this weekly appointment to really be helpful, each one of these kids needs regular, personal attention from one adult, and we barely have enough tutors now to limit the groups to five. I wish more people would donate just two hours a week to make a difference for these kids.
Christmas
What’s your church doing for Christmas that’s different or interesting? I try to include lots of these in “Buzz” each December and, believe it or not, it’s time for me to be working on those issues. Drop me a line at buzz@standardpub.com and let me know.
In an interesting counterpoint to the July New Yorker article about an IRS investigation of Ohio churches and their support of conservative political candidates, a front-page LA Times article reported this weekend that a more liberal church is now under the same kind of scrutiny.
The article is unapologetically biased in favor of the church in question, All Saints Episcopal Church in Pasadena, where Reverend George Regas recently delivered a sermon including a mock debate between President Bush, John Kerry, and Jesus on the war in Iraq.
“Look, All Saints’ politics are pretty clear, and it’s not hard to guess which presidential candidate Regas might have been more sympathetic to,” reporter Steve Lopez writes. “But it’s hard to believe that the IRS wouldn’t have better things to do and bigger fish to fry.”
However, Lopez also notes that the pastor of nearby Missionary Baptist Church, in a 2004 letter to President Bush, proudly claimed to have converted 80% of his congregation from Democrat to Republican and promised to “work untiringly” for Bush’s reelection. You have to admit it’s interesting that one congregation is receiving federal attention and the other is not.
And it’s easy to forget that sometimes we can also be biased: We feel strongly that federal courthouses should post the 10 Commandments…… but not excerpts from the Koran. Public school should include prayer! we cry–but to the Christian God only. And a conservative minister should have the right to preach his politics, but liberal pastors should not.
For the record, and because I know you were concerned I wouldn’t offer an opinion, I will repeat a sentence from my July post on this subject: It seems inappropriate (and illegal according to non-profit laws) for any religious leader to use his church building or his influence to sway members to vote certain ways on certain issues.
It seems simple to me—tell me where I’m wrong.
For centuries, theologians and philosophers have debated whether God actually answers our prayers. I am living proof that not only does he hear us when we call to him, he even answers prayer that includes profanity.
Let me explain. A few days ago some good friends gave me a computer and so yesterday off I went to IKEA to buy a desk. IKEA, if you are not familiar with it, keeps its prices low by selling most of their furniture in pieces, packaged in flat cardboard boxes with complete assembly required. Despite the inherent hassle of this, IKEA does a brisk business because it’s one of the few places you can buy a fairly cool-looking new desk for $24.99. They also have breakfast for a dollar and truly horrible (but cheap) Swedish coffee. They could probably start a whole marketing campaign aimed exclusively at the recently unemployed.
So, that afternoon I find myself standing in my living room surrounded by piles of pressboard, screws, and instructions. Despite my cat’s help, I’ve managed to painlessly assemble the base and just need to attach the back panel. The entire project thus far has taken 20 minutes.
An hour and a half later, sweaty and angry and ready to throw the whole thing through my sliding glass window, I cast a glance heavenward and say, “God, there is no one to help me do this. I have to do this by myself. And I have to do it today. Please, please MAKE THIS WORK.” Except I also intimated that the desk is not destined to spend eternity in heaven, if you get my drift.
I went to the kitchen to drink some water and cool off, literally and figuratively. A few minutes later, I returned to the project and it suddenly hit me that if I configured the metal hinges slightly differently, as the picture implied but in no way made clear, the whole thing would probably work. Ten minutes later a desk was born.
We serve a truly gracious God, who cares not only for the widows and orphans but also the slightly bratty unemployed singletons. I learned, once again, that God is listening and he cares about even the little things.
I also learned something that may come in handy if my next job requires marriage counseling. Roger Ebert, the famous film critic, once said you should never marry anyone you can’t sit next to on a 3-day bus trip. I have a newer, more time-effective suggestion: before getting married, every engaged couple should have to buy a desk at IKEA and put it together.
I’m learning a lot. Today I learned patience as I waited my turn for a computer among gaggles of teenage girls creating Myspace profiles. Greetings from the Orange County library.
I’m also learning that losing a job can be a little like losing a loved one, at least in terms of the various ways people respond to you. Some feel awkward and avoid you because they don’t know what to say. Others offer platitudes and cliches about knowing how you feel or God having a plan. And a few wonderful souls spring into action, somehow knowing what you need most and providing it without being asked—patient listening, a corner of a garage to store files, a refurbished and rebuilt computer, a laugh.
So the final thing I’ve learned so far is how to be a better friend the next time someone close to me experiences a loss, whatever the type. I have a feeling this experience will strengthen my compassion and empathy even as it develops yet more patience.
Speaking of which, I’ll try to post your comments as quickly as I can—please be patient until I’m on email more regularly. In the meantime, I have 17 minutes left on this computer and I may join Myspace.
When my friend Kari and I turned 30 a few months ago, we each made a list of the fun, not-so-fun, memorable and more mundane things we’d experienced in our first three decades. We spent a wonderful long evening sharing our lists with each other, laughing, crying, and talking about what we’d like the next thirty years to hold.
Neither my “What I did with my first thirty years” nor my “What I hope to do next” lists included losing my job due to downsizing, but life doesn’t usually follow a script. So, yesterday, my position and several others were eliminated and I am suddenly among the ranks of the unemployed.
I am experiencing a strange mixture of emotions including sadness, fear, anger, and even excitement over what comes next. So over the next few weeks, as Arron blogs about choosing to leave his current ministry and join a new one, I’ll be blogging about the experience of doing the same—but without the element of choice.
Actually, Arron, does your new church need anyone else???
I spent last weekend in Cincinnati, where the major news story was the murder of 3 year-old Marcus Fiesel. Marcus was an autistic little boy who functioned developmentally as a 12-18 month old. His foster parents, David and Liz Carroll, and their live-in girlfriend bound Marcus’ hands behind his back with packing tape and left him in a closet without food and water for a weekend in August. Neighbors later reported hearing screams coming from the house. When the family returned and found Marcus dead, they burned his body once, then twice more for good measure, and dumped what wouldn’t burn into the Ohio River.
THEN, to cover up their actions even more, the couple + 1 took their biological children to a park where Liz feigned a medical emergency and fainted; when she “came to” she claimed Marcus had wandered away and begged bystanders to search for him. Before the police and then the public learned the true story, hundreds of volunteers, professional rescue workers, firefighters, police, and paramedics spent days searching every inch of the park. 60 divers searched creeks and ponds, and a local businessman offered a $10,000 reward.
As my mom told me the saga, my first reaction was pity and heartbreak for Marcus. His birth mother abused and neglected him, and then the system created to protect forgotten children placed him in a home with a history of domestic abuse, theft, and violence. His little mind, although not mature enough to understand everything happening to him, was quite capable of experiencing fear, anger, hunger, thirst, and sadness. In three years he experienced more pain than I have in thirty.
Jesus loves Marcus and now Marcus gets to be with Jesus—whole, healthy, and pain-free. But even as I blinked away tears for his earthly life, it hit me that Jesus also loves David and Liz Carroll. He loves them just as much as he loves Marcus.
This blows my mind. We often discuss grace and feel grateful that it covers our sins of gossip and gluttony and greed. In our most honest moments, we remember that grace also extends to our other sins, the ones we don’t gloss over or minimize.
But grace also covers murdering children and burning corpses and causing community panic and lying to juries. Jesus died on the cross for our sins—we’ve heard it all our lives. So let’s restate it: Jesus hung on the cross and took the punishment for David Carroll burning a three year-old’s body in a park. Jesus felt the pain that all the adults would cause all the children of all time, and he died for those big people as well as the little ones.
Grace is one thing, and repentance is another. I don’t know if David and Liz recognize their sin or if they will ever confess it to God. (As of this writing, they have not confessed it to Cincinnati—they pleaded not guilty yesterday.) But whether or not they ever find and understand and accept God’s grace—how amazing to serve a God who went to such lengths just to offer it.
As churches resume their regular programming this fall, many of them are using Beth Moore’s new Bible Study on the book of Daniel. I haven’t read through the study or watched the videos, so I don’t claim to know the details of what she teaches, but I have heard she devotes quite a bit of the study to the end times prophecies in Daniel. People who have reviewed the material also say she presents a pretty strong argument for one specific theological position.
Some churches are struggling with whether to use this latest study, despite the draw of Beth Moore’s name being attached to it. Others are using it but are coaching the leaders to answer questions raised by the material and to present some alternative views of the text. And other churches aren’t too worried about it. If your church is working this study into your fall programming (or if you decided not to) I’m interested in hearing your take.
Jennifer Taylor
My Other Sites
Twittering @seejenwrite- seejenwrite: Looking forward to hearing @susanisaacs and @donmilleris tonite. Flexing my fingers in preparation for copious note-taking.
- seejenwrite: Buying tix for trip to Orlando in January!
- seejenwrite: Here are my thoughts about the Twilight craze, from earlier this year: http://ow.ly/E3Vc
- seejenwrite: @FlowerDust See you there!
