Write About Now

This is long. Skim if you want. But it’s an important issue to talk about, and I’d love your feedback in the comments.

This video by Christian comedian Tim Hawkins pokes fun at the homeschooling stereotypes—some, I’ll admit, that I share.

But while I have my own opinions, I don’t have my own kids, so I decided it was fair to hear from those who do.

I talked to four families, two who homeschool and two who don’t. Here’s a summary:


Pro
Although one of the generalizations often made about homeschooled kids is their lack of social adeptness, Byron Davis lists “socialization” as one of the top reasons he and his wife are teaching their son at home.

“My son, who’s 8, interacts with other kids every day, kids of different ages as well as adults,” he says. “We find he’s more comfortable working with older people than other kids his age are.”

Chris Smith agrees that his two first-graders receive plenty of interaction with other kids in the homeschool co-op he and his wife help lead at Englewood Christian Church. Several adults share teaching duties for the ten students ranging from 1st-6th grade.

“I don’t think the socialization objection is valid,” he says. “If people are teaching just their one or two children, just at their home, it may be more of an issue. A co-op is different, and most of the kids are also involved in other activities outside our school, like sports and art programs.”

Chris points out that he and his wife also intentionally engage with the families and kids in their urban neighborhood; this environment leads to the social growth of their children but has poor-quality schools that, in part, influenced their decision to homeschool.


Another common stereotype is homeschooled kids are isolated and sheltered from the world—and their parents want it that way because of the evil forces permeating our public schools.

Chris acknowledges this attitude does drive some parents. “Some of the homeschool agenda is driven from fear of what’s ‘out there,’” he says.

“But the bottom line is if we are in Christ, there is nothing to fear. That shouldn’t be the reason Christian parents choose to homeschool.”

Byron agrees. “We wanted to help our son develop a biblical worldview that is not afraid or sheltered from differing opinions, but is comfortable in thinking differently.”

Byron also says homeschooling can actually avoid this isolation from the “real world” because of its inherent flexibility for excursions out into that world. His son currently takes courses from college professors, studies music with a graduate student, learns about art from a professional artist and practices his Spanish with a native speaker.


That sounds WAY more fun than my school experience.

I love to learn and read but I hated school: every movement dictated by a bell or the precious hall pass, the EARLY mornings, the worksheets. Some of the homeschool critics point out this routine is preparation for the world of work, which is true but sad (and probably a major reason why I now work for myself, at home. Hmmm.)


Anyway, Byron and Chris believe homeschooling allows for better formation—both intellectual and spiritual.

“I think it instills a love for learning and supports creativity,” says Byron. “It also reinforces the value of lateral thinking, not just the linear sequential thinking so often taught. And I see homeschooling as an integral part of discipling my son. I love leveraging teachable moments.”

Chris focused on an even broader perspective.

“We think a lot of the educational process is formation into consumerism or nationalism,” he says. “We want our kids to be formed primarily by the church and the authentic community we find there.”


Not so pro
I label it this, instead of “con,” because most of these folks were fairly supportive of homeschooling done well.

But “done well” is huge.

“The homeschooling group in our church had strong leaders,” says Maribeth Pippenger, who worked as a teacher in the public schools for many years. “When parents decided to homeschool, one woman—who successfully taught all six of her own kids—would really challenge them to consider the huge time commitment and the work required. Not every parent is homeschool material, and that’s okay.”


Another friend, who requested anonymity “because I like being friends with my in-laws” chooses not to homeschool his four kids and questions not the subject matter homeschooling might teach, but the work ethic and attitude.

“I don’t always like work, but I still have to go,” he says. “I learned early on that sometimes you have to do things you don’t feel like doing. I’m not saying all homeschooling parents operate this way, but you’re not doing a kid any favors if he doesn’t learn self-discipline.”

Maribeth is even more direct. “Often these kids buckle under deadlines and competition,” she says. “They’re not used to either one.”


Both interviewees also mentioned the fear issue. Although both Maribeth and her husband Milt, who served as a school superintendent, tried to build relationships with the homeschooling families in their community, some parents did perpetuate the stereotype of isolation in response to a public school “agenda.”

“Some homeschoolers at our church looked at public schools as the enemy, and some families wouldn’t speak to me or Milt because we fraternized with the enemy,” Maribeth says. “We always approached our work as a mission field. Do not shoot the soldiers who are down in the trenches trying to be part of the solution!”

“No matter where kids go to school, eventually they are going to be exposed to other ideas and lifestyles,” says my anonymous friend. “My kids aren’t going to live at my house forever. I’d rather have them learn these things while I still have the influence as a parent to help them process their thoughts and choose Christian responses.”

“And I always liked having Christian kids in my classroom,” Maribeth says. “I wasn’t allowed to talk about my faith, but I taught art, much of which uses the Bible as subject matter. It was great to ask the class if they understood a piece and hear one of the kids share the whole biblical story.”


They also point out the public schools just do some things better. “I always told homeschoolers, ‘you are tax payers and you are entitled to bring your kids to school for anything you can’t do at home,’” says Milt. “Often they took advantage of higher level math classes, instrumental music or driver’s ed.”

“And there will always be public schools to help with therapy and learning enrichment for special needs children,” Maribeth says. “Now that we have a grandson of our own who needs that extra help, we are so grateful it’s there.”


My opinion
So after all this input from parents and educators, you really just want to know what the childless freelance writer thinks, right??

I think it depends on the specific parent and specific child.

I think parents must honestly evaluate their own ability to plan and present lessons, week after week after week. I think parents must honestly consider the personality and learning style of their child.

I think the decision must be made as an intentional part of a larger value system, as Bryon and Chris demonstrate, not as a reaction to perceived “evil” in the public schools.

I think parents who homeschool must not believe this one choice will protect their children from other influences.

I think parents on both sides of the issue should attempt to understand and even help each other.

I think both should involve their kids in a good youth group at church and other non-academic activities.

And I think that, while I may have benefited from kindergarten and first grade at home, my mom and I would have killed each other (love you, mom). Instead I went to public school, excelled academically, participated in extracurriculars, dated, and went to a top-rated college where I kept my faith. In other words, turned out just fine. And last year I stopped asking for a hall pass to visit the bathroom.