call waiting
A few weeks ago, Dave Ferguson summarized Frederick Buechner’s famous quote as his Facebook and Twitter status: “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”
I wrestle with this perspective because I have yet to find my “deep gladness.” Believe me, I’ve tried—I’ve prayed, fasted, and evaluated my spiritual gifts. (For the record, I don’t know what those are, either.) I’ve “first, broken all the rules” and “now, discovered my strengths.” I even participated in a very thorough and helpful SIMA analysis. (At the end the consultant told me he thought my profile and giftedness is the same as Martha Stewart’s except I’m not a jerk. Except he didn’t say jerk.)
I care about things; I’m all for clean water in Africa and ending urban poverty and planting new churches. I like most animals more than many humans and I’m good at growing tomatoes. But I wouldn’t say drilling wells or starting churches or protecting animals or feeding the poor (even with my produce) are consuming passions.
For years I thought it was just a matter of pointing the flashlight at the right corner of my soul—that a latent passion would spring into life if I strained the eyes of my heart into the dark. I remember saying in college, when I first hit my head against this wall while trying to choose a major, “If God would just TELL me what he wants me to do with my life, I would do it. Anything. He knows I will. Why won’t he tell me?”
I thought everyone had felt a call on their life and had a passion for something and struggled with burdens on their hearts during seasons of ministry and other such Christianese crap. (Perhaps the Martha Stewart comment has some truth.)
And I think some people do, just as I think God probably does handpick spouses for a few people. What safety, what comfort in those thoughts! But how much scarier to ponder the (much more biblical) feedback I received from one wise mentor: What if there are many professions we can pursue and people we could marry? What if God gives us guidelines for making the decisions but loves us enough to give us freedom? What if he’ll be pleased with any choice as long as we honor him while living it out?
I re-posted the quote on my own Facebook and Twitter pages with the question, “What if you have no great passion?” And another wise friend commented, “The Bible says to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly. Love God and love others. We make it way too hard.”
I don’t think Buechner is a bad guy (or Dave, for that matter—he’s a great guy). But I have some problems with American Christianity’s myth that God will map out our lives for us. Perhaps his great gladness is watching us chart the course for ourselves.
old girls network
Dear older ladies,
First off, do not be offended—by “older” I mean older than me and my friends—not old. Trust me, I’ve been well-trained by my mother that old is at least 10 years older than your current age.
“I just want to age gracefully,” mom says. I’m so lucky to have her as my primary example of godly femininity and she definitely continues to model this as she gets older. Not old. OLDER.
But many women my age and younger don’t have such a great role model, and even those of us who do could benefit from relationships with more than one. I’m writing to ask you to consider committing a few hours each week or even each month for this important job.
As women’s mentoring ministries have hammered into our brains for years, The book of Titus teaches this. And if you want to join or launch a “Titus 2″ group to match older and younger women, that would be a great start. But you don’t have to create anything formal or enlist other volunteers to begin making a difference for the women in my demographic—just choose one or two of us and initiate a relationship.
I know, that’s scary, but if you wait for us to approach you it will never happen. Although I’ve asked a few women to serve as mentors in my life, most of us don’t know we need help—or, if we know, we don’t realize we can ask.
And do we ever need it. We’re raising kids, raising step kids, trying to get pregnant, trying not to get pregnant. We’re reading “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” because we have no mother, big sister or aunt to clue us in. We’re choosing between homemaking and working outside the home and most of us are trying to do both, in houses with more convenience features than ever before that somehow we still can’t manage to keep clean. No one ever taught us to mend a hem or sew on a button. We can create websites from scratch but not a loaf of bread. We’re working in offices filled with men and holding our own (although still receiving less pay, but whatever). We’re looking at our marriages and wondering if we made the right choice and if we can make this last another forty years and if we want to and if we’re bad people when we don’t.
We need you—your wisdom, your sense of humor, your perspective, your practical help. We don’t expect the answer to every life question; we know we’re facing more choices than any previous generation of women, but we also know the important principles behind making those decisions haven’t changed. Some long-term coaching would be so helpful as we try to figure it all out.
Besides, there are still young women walking around in tube tops. Until every last one of us dresses attractively but modestly, consider yourselves on retainer. Because living gracefully applies to every age, young and old. I mean, older.
Jen
things I don’t understand, part 5
Chicken Soup for the NASCAR Soul
Being afraid of any bug you can kill with one stomp.
Why we use those little fish food pellets for communion. We have multi-million dollar sound systems. Bread is too expensive?
Why none of the children I grew up with had peanut allergies, but today every third kid swells up if he walks past a jar of JIF.
The parents who bring two year olds to the 10:00 movie. I know, you can’t get a sitter and you, wrongly, believe your child will fall asleep or play quietly. Let me tell you what will really happen: he will wriggle and wail and neither you nor anyone else in the theater will enjoy (or hear) the movie they paid $11 to see.
Decorative soap.
Why one of my investment reports arrives wrapped in thick black plastic. My mailman probably thinks I’m ordering porn.
Being passive-aggressive. It requires so much more energy in the long run.
Non-Italians who pronounce ricotta “Reeh-coht-tah.” (Maybe that’s something I find annoying, not confusing. Hmm—another list idea.)
Why I have to remove my shoes and scrimp on shampoo to get through airport security but the catering people and luggage handlers who actually spend their days hanging around airplanes receive only occasional security checks.
People who ask a question and then interrupt you as you start to answer.
Why church leaders obsessed with “cultural relevance” also preach 35 minute sermons.
Further confusion here.
the last christmas pageant ever
I’m guessing at least 50% of you attended a “Harvest Party” or “Trunk-n-Treat” at your church last month, and at least 25% more attend a church that held one.
Which is all fine, as far as it goes, although I take issue with two of the most commonly given reasons for these sugar-fests: that they provide a safer alternative to traditional trick or treating, and that they are a powerful outreach activity to the community.
Although some local news stations still dust off the razor-blades-in-the-apples story each October, Snopes.com disproved every instance of candy tampering ever reported in conjunction with Halloween. It’s just a myth—as is, most likely, the adult who actually gave apples.
These events also fail to reach our communities. Lots of people may show up and the church might receive some good press. A few families may even return for a weekend worship service because of the experience they have on your campus—although I’d bet a Snickers bar your church doesn’t know if that’s happening. Meanwhile, we spend hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars recruiting volunteers, organizing games, and haranguing church members for candy donations.
Or there’s Christmas. I don’t have the Snopes link to prove it, but do you know anyone who became a Christian because of a Christmas cantata? Usually the audience for such things is comprised of the family and friends of those in the choir, most of whom are already believers. (This is doubly true for children’s programs.) Again, the investment of time and energy is out of all proportion to the spiritual ROI.
If we really want to show love to our neighbors at Halloween, we could follow the example of my own parents, who make a big pot of apple cider, park themselves in lawn chairs at the bottom of their driveway, and give cups of the hot drink to every tired, cold parent who comes along with his tiny princess/pirate/Disney character. They talk to their neighbors, serve them in a small way, extend friendship, and ooh and aah over little people in costumes. (They give candy, too, the good stuff—kids aren’t excited about cider.)
Or, like Journey Christian Church, we could organize a “Light Night” and challenge members to creatively transform their homes into places of light and welcome on this traditionally dark evening. My fellow blogger Arron, who serves as senior minister at Journey, says the church offered a variety of ways for people to participate (set up games or bounce houses, make popcorn or cotton candy, host costume contests, and–yes!–give out hot cider). Members were encouraged to distribute info about Journey’s programs for kids and copies of the Gospel of John along with the candy.
At Christmas, what if we asked church members to spend Wednesday night having dinner with a non-Christian neighbor instead of attending choir practice with lots of already-Christians? What if, instead of lining the sanctuary with video cameras to capture Junior’s debut as wiseman #3, we opened our homes for Advent parties for all our kid’s friends?
I’m really not lecturing—there’s more I can do in this area, too. But let’s be honest—we do Fall Fests and Christmas pageants because these things make us feel good. If we really wanted to serve and reach non-Christians, we’d be doing something else.
unbelievable #3
This, proof that attending Harvard does not make you smart, will be our last “unbelievable” for a while. I’d like to be there when Schafly has lunch with the KJV-only guy.
New Conservative Bible will eliminate ‘liberal’ text: Version removes adultery story
If Andy Schafly has his way, there will be no socialists or snake handlers in the Bible. No woman caught in adultery. And, definitely, no Stephen Colbert.
Schlafly, founder of Conservapedia.com, wants to save the Scriptures from liberals with his latest venture, the Conservative Bible Project. He says translations like the New International Version have added socialist ideals to the Good Book. But his rewrite of the Bible has drawn criticism from biblical scholars, liberals and conservatives.
Schlafly, son of national political activist Phyllis Schlafly, says a conservative Bible should be masculine, for example, using the words mankind and man rather than more inclusive language. It also should shun terms like laborer or comrade. It also should put a free market spin on the sayings of Jesus.
Take Mark 10:25, where the King James Version says, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” Liberals have used that passage to attack the wealthy, Schafly said. The Conservative Bible substitutes “a man who cares only for money” for rich man.
“I don’t think Jesus is saying, ‘Let’s all be lazy so we can get to heaven.’ That’s not the message. And, if you translate the word rich as simply rich, some people are going to get the message that ‘I am going to be lazy so I can get to heaven easier,’” said Schlafly, who graduated from Princeton University with a bachelor’s degree in electrical engineering and computer science and from Harvard Law School as an attorney, according to his Web site.
Click here to read the rest from a recent front-page story in The Tennessean—which is proof that Nashville needs a better newspaper.
unbelievable #2
Just type in the amount you want to lie about on your expense report, and Expense-A-Steak will do the rest, even providing digital versions of rumpled, slightly unreadable, but legit-looking receipts.
unbelievable #1
Amazing Grace Baptist Church to Burn Bibles, Other Books for Halloween: King James Bible ‘Only True Word of God’
The pastor of the Amazing Grace Baptist Church in Canton, North Carolina plans to celebrate Halloween by leading his fourteen member congregation by burning Bibles. Pastor Marc Grizzard is not a Satan worshiper or a militant atheist.
Pastor Grizzard says that he is a Christian. However it seems that the Amazing Grace Baptist Church believes that only the King James Version of the Bible is the true word of God and that all other versions are “perversions” and “Satanic.” Along those same principles, Pastor Grizzard intends to burn books written by Christian authors such as Billy Graham and Rick Warren.
Click here to read the rest…
10/25/09: An update: “We are not burning Bibles written in other languages that are based on the Textus Receptus. We are not burning the Wycliffe, Tyndale, Geneva or other translations that are based on the Textus Receptus. We will be serving bar-b-que chicken, fried chicken and all the sides.”
the winter of my discontent
In my quest to become more positive, I am trying valiantly to look forward to the upcoming winter season, otherwise known as The Five Straight Months of Cold Feet. In that spirit (the positive one—didn’t you identify it in the previous sentence?) I have attempted to brainstorm some good things about winter:
1. Sitting by the fireplace TO GET WARM
2. Reading a good book while snuggling under a blanket TO GET WARM
3. Wrapping great scarves around my neck in jaunty positions TO GET WARM
4. Burrowing under the covers with my hot water bottle TO GET WARM
5. Enjoying cafe au lait and hot chocolate TO GET WARM
6. Wearing soft merino wool sweaters TO GET WARM
7. Cuddling with a nice boy TO GET WARM
8. My fun peacoat with gold buttons I bought TO GET WARM
9. Steaming hot baths with essential oils TO GET WARM
10. Fuzzy chenille socks that I wear TO GET WARM
Yeah, this is going well.
okay, done with this one. what’s next?
I’ve written before (here and here and here….okay, a lot) about prayer. I don’t get how it works. I don’t always believe that it works. I don’t know why I get yes answers to some things and silence to others and no answers to others. I don’t know what God causes and what he allows. I’m skeptical and cynical about other people’s God-is-awesome Facebook status updates “claiming the victory” for continual blessings.
Since you’ve tolerated my ramblings on this subject (oh yes, there are more……here, and here, and here), I wanted to let you know I finally figured out my theology on this subject:
I don’t understand it. I probably won’t understand it in this lifetime. I’m still suspicious if you claim to understand it. But I believe Jesus is real and He’s listening.
That’s all I’ve got.
One moment someone whispers, “Thank you.”
Just then another heart cries, “How could you?”
And Jesus, who sees us,
He says, “I hear you.”
“I’m near you.”
It may be miles and miles before the journey’s clear
There may be rivers, maybe oceans of tears
But the very hand that shields your eyes from understanding
Is the hand that will be holding you for miles
face the music
In Christian circles we like to quote Romans 12 and say worship is a lifestyle and not really about music at all. In fact, my blogging comrade Arron wrote a good post about this last week, and I agree with the points he makes.
However, while we say this, we plan “worship services” which usually include mostly music and a sermon. The budgets for “worship” and the “worship staff” and “worship programs” are often some of the largest in the entire church. And many meetings, conferences, blogs, and books revolve around rehearsing, resourcing, and relevant-izing these 15-30 minutes of music each week.
One of my friends plans to start a church that moves away from this focus. In fact, he plans to include no music in their weekly gatherings at all; instead he’ll include observational and improvisational comedy that he believes will connect more easily and more genuinely with a non-Christian crowd.
He asked me to join a small team for a day-long meeting to brainstorm about this new project, and I’d love to hear your thoughts before I fly to California next week. Why has singing and playing music become the only method for corporate worship? Is it a problem for us to know that worship is an attitude of honoring God in every moment but to talk like it’s singing—preferably with ecstatic emotion—for 20 minutes on the weekend? Are there other, equally biblical ways to “do church”?
Jennifer Taylor
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